Are you Leading or Dealing people?

LEADERS & DEALERS

Philipose Vaidyar

We have all of it but we are jumbled! By our bio, we are already muddled up and to get it right it needs an inward change! How? LEADER and DEALER have the same biology.  

All of us are ought to be leaders in some respect in our circle of influence- at home, at the workplace, or among the communities, to which we belong. We could be an opinion leaders to someone in some way. What we discuss here is nothing academic or professional. Your leaders will teach you the difference between leadership and management! But we are talking about some simple stuff here from our daily work whether you are a leader or a manager.

The myths of leadership in our workplaces today….

1.      You should be assertive and strict with people.

2.      You should not talk freely or openly.

3.      You should not smile or laugh but be serious and act serious.

4.      You cannot be humble, that they will not climb on your shoulders.

5.      You should not be soft-spoken, rather, raise your voice and yell if you can

6.      You should scare, threaten and warn of performance, and so on.

People are not Resources

Unfortunately, many of us who handle huge funds and money meant for people do not know how to ‘handle’ people. Work principles of factory and production units are not applicable in working with people. People have resources, but they are not resources for you. That’s the greatest mistake we have learned from the corporate houses of business. People have worth, they have skills, experience, and value systems. But they are not just capital, assets, property, or possessions. People are humans and each of them is different and unique even if they are supposed to do the same thing ‘under your leadership’. Don’t handle them, but work with them. “A leader is a person who knows the way, shows the way, and goes the way”. Work along with them and go along with them. Know them, their strengths and struggles, not to exploit them but to help them perform the task you want them to do. Don’t use them to your advantage. If you lead a team, remember, “Together Everyone Achieve Maximum”.

A Leader can be a Friend

“At workplaces don’t make any friends”, some say. “Work with everyone but don’t trust anyone”, they continue. But I disagree with these. All may not become good friends, but be open and offer your friendship to anyone and everyone with clear boundaries appropriately. A friend in need is a good friend indeed; in ‘deed’ and ‘indeed’.   Some feel, that intimate relationships in the workplace will lead to exploitation. Only insecure and immature people feel so.  Once I was in a place with a poor ‘network’ and my bank payment gateway did an error.  I was badly in need of help to book a train ticket. I called up an old colleague in New Delhi to see if he could book a ticket for me. He was on his morning walk and he just told me to use his bank account by giving me the credentials. I mean that is being a friend and I would certainly grow closer to him. We still keep in touch with and share things.  When we experience such friendship, what does it mean to us? Do the same to others!  Life is so fulfilling and enriching when we allow people to confide with us, consult us, share their problems and seek our counsel. You don’t need to announce or advertise. It just happens naturally as people know you.  Your good friends can be from your workplace too.

If you make friends by being good, you may make foes as well. But they can become channels for you too. A person in need is your neighbor and brother!

Our Doing is the result of our Being

A tree can bear only fruits of its kind; A machine’s output is decided by its input; only what is filled in can flow out. Fruits tied to the wrong tree cannot fool people for long. We need to dress it every day. At every office meeting, we may affirm our brand qualities like we set a flower vase. Plastic flowers do not give fragrance to anyone inside your office or around you. Let us sow flower seeds and plant trees, which can take root below and bear fruit above. People who experienced forgiveness, grace, truth, and joy can only be gracious, truthful, and joyful to others. "People who work only for a position can never have possession of values for people". (It's my words, not quoted). Now to my friends: We who work in any organization of the ‘world’ without any ‘vision’ for people, be it 25 or 30 years, will be gone and forgotten. The number of years you work in an organization will not necessarily make you an experienced person. We should not become like a retired police officer who had honor and power only when he was in his position! Friends, make friends for this world and for the world to come with the mammon of this world. Your budget and money will be gone one day!  What you and I invest in people with love and kindness will only last.

Friends do not necessarily bring you money or influence. If you are only a money monger and pursuer of positions, you have no real friends. If your colleague has more friends everywhere you go along, don’t be jealous. Their friends are fruits of their deeds of love, joy, peace, kindness, and so forth. Can we be good friends to someone in need at the workplace? Let us lead people not deal with them!

Coming shortly... Consider others better than yourself; Do unto others what you want them to do to you!