LEADERS & DEALERS

Are We Leading People—or Dealing With Them?

We have all of it, but we are jumbled! By our very nature, we are already muddled up, and to get it right, we need an inward change.

How?

LEADER and DEALER have the same biology—but there can be a world of difference between the two.

All of us are leaders in some respect, within our circle of influence—at home, at the workplace, or among the communities to which we belong. We may be an opinion leader to someone, even without realizing it.

What I am talking about here is nothing academic or professional. Leadership books and courses will teach us the difference between leadership and management. I am talking about some simple stuff from our daily lives, whether we are leaders, managers, supervisors, parents, or simply people influencing others.

The Myths of Leadership in Our Workplaces Today

Some of us have learned that a leader should:

• Be assertive and strict with people.
• Not talk freely or openly.
• Not smile or laugh, but always look serious.
• Never be humble, or people will take advantage of you.
• Raise your voice rather than speak softly.
• Scare, threaten, and warn people about performance.

But is that leadership?

Or is it simply a way of dealing with people?

People Are Not Resources

Unfortunately, many of us who handle huge funds and resources meant for people do not know how to work with people.

The principles of factories and production units cannot simply be applied to human beings. People have resources, but people are not resources for you.

That is one of the greatest mistakes we have learned from the corporate world.

People have worth. They have skills, experience, struggles, dreams, and values. Each person is different and unique, even when they are expected to do the same work under our leadership.

Don't handle people. Work with them.

Know their strengths and struggles—not to exploit them, but to help them grow and perform the task entrusted to them.

Don't use people for your advantage.

If you lead a team, remember this: people are not tools to accomplish your goals; they are people to be valued while accomplishing those goals together.

That is where leadership begins.

A Leader Can Be a Friend

“At workplaces, don't make any friends,” some say.

“Work with everyone, but don't trust anyone,” they continue.

I disagree.

Everyone may not become a close friend, but be open and offer your friendship to others with clear and appropriate boundaries.

Only insecure and immature people think that friendship and leadership cannot exist together.

Once, I was in a place with a poor network connection and had difficulty booking a train ticket. I called an old colleague in New Delhi for help. He was on his morning walk, but he immediately found a way to help me.

That simple act meant much more to me than the ticket.

That is friendship.

We still keep in touch and share things.

When we experience such friendship, what does it mean to us?

Do the same for others.

Life becomes fulfilling and enriching when people can confide in us, consult us, share their problems, and seek our counsel. We don't need to announce or advertise it. It happens naturally when people know who we are.

Your good friends can come from your workplace too.

If you make friends by being good, you may make some foes as well. But even difficult relationships can become opportunities to show who we are.

A person in need is our neighbour and our brother.

Our Doing Is the Result of Our Being

A tree can bear only the fruit of its kind.

We can put beautiful words about organizational values on the walls and repeat them in every meeting. But plastic flowers do not give fragrance.

We need to plant real trees.

What is rooted inside us will eventually become visible through our lives.

People who have experienced forgiveness can forgive. Those who have experienced grace can show grace. Those who have received truth can speak truth. Those who have experienced joy can bring joy to others.

We cannot manufacture character through a position, a designation, or a leadership workshop.

Our doing is ultimately the result of our being.

People who work only for a position may have the position, but they may never possess the values needed to lead people.

We may work in an organization for 25 or 30 years, but if we have no vision for people, we may eventually be gone and forgotten.

The number of years we work in an organization does not necessarily make us experienced people.

We should not become like a retired police officer who had honour and power only while holding the position.

Position is temporary. Influence is lasting.

Your budget will be spent. Your office will change hands. Your designation will eventually disappear.

But what you invest in people with love, kindness, truth, and grace can continue long after you are gone.

So, What Kind of Leader Are You?

Friends do not necessarily bring us money or influence.

If we are only money-mongers and pursuers of positions, we may have many contacts but very few real friends.

If your colleague has more friends wherever you go, don't be jealous.

Perhaps those friendships are the fruit of their deeds—love, joy, peace, kindness, patience, and generosity.

Perhaps they invested in people when nobody was watching.

Perhaps they led people instead of dealing with them.

So let us ask ourselves some uncomfortable questions:

Do people work with us because they respect us—or because they are afraid of us?

Can people come to us with their problems, or do they hide them from us?

Do we know people's strengths and struggles, or do we know only their performance?

When our position is removed, will people still want to be around us?

And finally:

Are we leading people—or simply dealing with them?

There is only a small difference between a LEADER and a DEALER.

But the difference in the way people experience them can be enormous.

Let us lead people, not deal with them.