We recently attended a splendid wedding at a beautiful location
in Central Kerala. As a Christian wedding, the ceremony included an opening
prayer, the bride's and groom's march, appropriate scripture readings,
wonderful melodious songs, wedding messages, the solemnization, testimony from
the bride and groom, felicitations, prayers, and a sumptuous feast. But more
than the feast, the “Pentecostal wedding” messages are what linger in my mind.
The guest speaker, clearly from a Pentecostal Church, delivered a powerful
biblical message, addressing the couple getting wedded and inviting every
participant to believe in the gospel and prepare for the wedding feast of
Christ, the groom, in heaven. For Pentecostals, Brethren, and Baptists in
Kerala, this is often a last resort to share the gospel with everyone present,
including those from ‘community churches” or even non-churchgoers. With
attendees from various faith backgrounds, often close to the marrying couple or
the deceased’s family, why miss the opportunity to evangelize? The preacher did
a wonderful job, delivering his message with vigor, fervor, and scriptural
knowledge. He didn’t drag it on, so the spellbound audience in the hall sighed
with relief, and even those who had stepped out for a break returned.
Next came the solemnization of the marriage as announced by the MC. The solemnizer,
began with a keynote and opening remarks, stating he wanted to share "a
couple of things" with the couple. Being a theological graduate connected
to a theological institution and with a personal ministry of spreading the
word, he started off. The "couple of things" quickly turned into
scores of biblical texts, stretching into another Evangelistic message for the
next 45 minutes. What the wedding speaker missed should have been covered by
the solemnizing pastor! Fortunately, there was no altar call, avoiding
confusion among the guests from varied church and faith backgrounds.
During these hours, it was easy to forget the bride and groom seated on the
stage, facing the crowd. Fortunately, both the official and unofficial speakers
occasionally addressed them and the crowd.
As is common, Pentecostals in Kerala do not wear gold, so there was no exchange
of wedding rings or tying of the wedlock string during the ceremony. They may
quote the marriage stories from Abraham to Jacob but conveniently avoid the mention
of wedding ring. Instead, the bridegroom holding the bride's hands symbolizes
the wedding covenant. (In patriarchal times, making a contract often involved
placing a hand under the other’s thigh.) Though the marriages are considered to
be conducted in heaven and solemnized before a crowd, they must still be
registered at a Registrar’s office in the local Panchayat or Municipality.
Pentecostals, like others, must follow the rule of law for various reasons,
including securing a passport or visa. Thus, the wedding ring holds no place in
the ceremony.
Now, the climax and paradox of this identity crisis in Pentecostal weddings
somehow crept into the back page of the art paper-color-printed, 8-page booklet
shared for the wedding service. It reads:
“The prince who bought his bride at a supreme price and presented her with
his signet ring has gone to prepare an eternal place for her…” (translated from
Malayalam). The original Malayalam content is available but not inserted here.
Conclusion: As the wedding drew to a close,
the subtle paradox of Pentecostal practice came to light—a ceremony that firmly
omitted the exchange of wedding rings, a widely accepted symbol of marital
unity, yet followed every protocol required by the law of the land. While the
absence of the ring was a conscious theological choice, rooted in the rejection
of gold and worldly adornments, the marriage was still bound by civil
requirements like registration, ensuring conformity to societal norms. This
contrast of avoiding one symbol while adhering to legal mandates reflects the
delicate balance Pentecostals navigate—honoring their convictions while
ensuring the ceremony satisfies both tradition and external expectations.
Ultimately, this wedding served as a powerful reminder of the tension between
personal faith and public conformity, highlighting how deeply belief shapes
even the most joyful of life’s milestones.
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