Philipose Vaidyar
When Students Fail, Whom Do We Blame!?
Children
raised in the same family often develop in diverse and unique ways. Despite
shared environments and similar foundational values, they grow into individuals
with distinct habits, characters, aspirations, and lifestyles. This diversity
extends to their vocations, financial habits, choices in food, clothing,
housing, transport, communication devices, and social
behaviors. If these variations are natural and individual, why do we often
expect uniformity in their religious and spiritual journeys?
Faith as a Personal Choice
Faith,
while influenced by upbringing, is ultimately a personal choice. The perception
that children who stray from faith do so solely due to parental failure is
overly simplistic. Critics frequently cite Proverbs 22:6, which states, “Train
up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart
from it.” While this verse emphasizes the importance of a strong foundation, it
does not negate each person's individuality and free will. Every child, despite
their upbringing, will face moments of decision that shape their spiritual
journey.
Embracing Individual Differences
Consider
a family with four children, each unique in character, behavior, aspirations,
and lifestyle. One might excel in academics, another in creative arts, a third
in entrepreneurial ventures, and the fourth in community service. Their
approaches to life’s challenges, their social circles, and even their
preferences for leisure activities will differ. If these differences are
accepted and celebrated in other areas of life, why is it difficult to extend
the same understanding to matters of faith and Christianity?
Human Free Will vs. Instinct
The
diversity among humans stands in contrast to the behavior of animals and birds,
which is often instinctive and consistent within their species. Birds, for
example, follow predictable migratory patterns, build similar nests, and forage
for food in ways that have been consistent for generations. Animals such as
lions and deer exhibit behaviors that align closely with their instincts for
survival, territory, and reproduction. Their actions are governed by innate
patterns rather than individual choices. In contrast, humans are endowed with
free will, intellectual reasoning, and the ability to make moral and spiritual
decisions. This capacity for choice underscores why social and spiritual
behaviors among people are vastly different and cannot be compared to other
creatures.
Biblical
Examples of Personal Choice
The Bible
offers numerous examples of individuals who made distinct choices despite their
backgrounds. Take, for instance, the story of the prodigal son in Luke
15:11-32. Both sons were raised in the same household, yet their life choices
and faith journeys were markedly different. The younger son chose a path of
rebellion, while the elder son remained at home, though his heart’s posture was
later revealed to be far from perfect. The father’s response, characterized by
love and grace, underscores the importance of individual accountability and the
enduring hope for redemption.
Similarly,
consider the accounts of Cain and Abel (Genesis 4:1-16). Despite having the
same parents and upbringing, their attitudes toward God differed significantly,
leading to drastically different outcomes. This narrative highlights that faith
is not merely inherited but cultivated through personal choices and responses
to God.
Parental Role and Responsibility
Christian parents need to provide a foundation of faith, discipline,
and love, creating an environment where children can encounter God. Yet,
parents must also recognize that each child’s faith journey is deeply personal.
Philippians 2:12 encourages believers to “work out your own salvation with fear
and trembling,” emphasizing individual responsibility in one’s relationship
with God.
Responding
to Children’s Choices
When
children deviate from the faith, it is not always a reflection of parental
failure. Instead of resorting to blame, the focus should be on persistent
prayer and unwavering faith in God’s ability to bring transformation. The
parable of the lost sheep (Luke 15:4-7) reassures us of God’s relentless
pursuit of those who stray. His grace is sufficient to guide them back,
irrespective of how far they wander.
The
diversity in children’s faith journeys should challenge us to trust God’s
sovereignty. Parents are called to plant seeds of faith, but it is ultimately
God who causes growth (1 Corinthians 3:6-7). While parental influence is
significant, it is not the sole determinant of a child’s spiritual path. Each
individual must choose whom they will serve (Joshua 24:15).
Divine Discipline: Lessons for Life
God’s Discipline and Restoration: A Path
to Redemption
When
individuals, whether they have tasted salvation or not, and regardless of being
raised by Christian parents, choose to rebel against God and walk on paths
contrary to His will, they often encounter significant challenges. These severe
situations can act as God’s way of disciplining or drawing them back to Him.
Such experiences, painful as they may be, serve as instruments of restoration,
refining their hearts and transforming their lives. Hebrews 12:6 reminds us,
“The Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as
His son.” God’s ultimate goal is not punishment but redemption, leading
individuals to a deeper, more personal relationship with Him.
The Danger of Loving Money: A Spiritual
Warning
The Word
of God warns that a love for money and an insatiable desire to become rich can
lead to ruin. Those driven by these pursuits often pierce themselves with many
sorrows, wander away from the faith, and risk shipwrecking their spiritual
lives. As 1 Timothy 6:9-10 cautions, "But those who desire to be rich fall
into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that
plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all
kinds of evil. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from
the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs."
The Consequences of Rebellion and Hope
of Restoration: Lessons from Israel
God’s
Word also warns that disobedience and sinful living have severe consequences.
When His children sin and turn away, He disciplines them, sometimes allowing
them to face destruction if they persist in rebellion. A striking example is
found in the history of Israel. Despite being chosen as God’s people, Israel
repeatedly sinned through idolatry, disobedience, and unfaithfulness. God
disciplined them by allowing invasions, exile, and suffering, as recorded in
books like Judges and 2 Kings. Yet, His discipline always carried the purpose
of restoration. For instance, Jeremiah 29:11 reveals God’s enduring plan for
His people: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans
for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Even
amidst judgment, God’s faithfulness and sovereignty remain unshaken, working all
things for His ultimate plan.
Conclusion: Trusting God’s Sovereignty
In conclusion, does upbringing solely determine a child’s faith? Or is faith
a deeply personal decision shaped by unique experiences and encounters with
God? While parents play a critical role in laying a foundation, they cannot
control every choice their children make. Instead of bearing undue guilt, they
can entrust their children to God’s redemptive power and sovereignty. Just as
God disciplined Israel to restore them, He works in every heart according to
His perfect will and timing. Let us embrace His unfailing love, trust in His
plans, and find hope in His ability to redeem and restore every life.
