Sparks, Knocks, and Slamming Doors

FAITH AT HOME: BEFORE THE CRISIS ARRIVES

Philipose Vaidyar

In an earlier write-up, “When Students (Children) Fail, Whom Do We Blame?” we noted that even in nurturing homes, children make their own choices. Click Here to View #1  Later, in “The Vanishing Youth from Our Congregations,” the focus shifted to the church—how weak programs, self-serving leadership, and misplaced priorities often push young people away. Click Here to View #2

Now, we turn to the home. Before crises arise, how can we nurture a faith that lasts? Not through formulas or fear, but through presence, patience, and intentional parenting.

Take one story: a young woman from a Christian family moved to the city, met a man of another faith at her workplace, and wanted to marry him. Instead of eloping, she consulted her parents, who agreed if the wedding took place in church. The couple joined a local congregation; the man underwent counseling, classes, baptism preparation, and was approved for membership. They married quietly—then disappeared from church life, later citing distance and work. Many such stories end in similar confusion, with parents left praying for true faith to take root.

Today, many church-raised young people marry outside the faith, divorce, or hide secret relationships. Global culture—instantly accessible online—shapes their values. In this consumerist world, even marriage is treated like an online purchase: try, discard, replace. Some avoid it altogether.

The deeper question is this: are our young people basing their choices on Christ, or simply on earning, spending, and consuming? Our children are not only listening but also watching—imitating not just their parents, but also their peers and the surrounding culture. In such a world, how do we ensure that what they absorb at home points them toward faith, character, and maturity?

1. Parenting with Purpose, Not Panic

Faith cannot be outsourced. It is not the job of the Sunday school teacher alone. Nor is it the church’s responsibility to raise our children spiritually. Scripture places that responsibility primarily on parents:

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road...” (Deuteronomy 6:6–7).

Children are often taught to memorize Bible verses and praised when they recite them in church or during family prayers. While this has value, what matters even more is helping them discuss, interpret, and apply the meaning of those verses in everyday life. From a young age, children should be guided to see how Scripture speaks to their challenges and choices.

This should not be about rewards or punishments but about creating space at home for genuine interaction—learning together to hear God’s voice. Don’t wait until Sunday school or youth camps, which in reality offer little scope for such conversations. Some ministries may run programs on quiet time, personal Bible study, or inductive study methods. These can be helpful, but children may miss them because of school or other schedules. Parents cannot depend on those occasional opportunities; they need to take the lead.

Remember, parents are the best teachers of values, behavior, and character—even if not of academic subjects. Let spirituality begin naturally at home, as early as children learn anything else. When family prayer becomes a time of dialogue and discovery, children grow not just in knowledge of Scripture, but in the habit of listening to God.

Sadly, many parents start intentional spiritual conversations only when a crisis arises—when their child walks away from faith, gets into a bad relationship, or begins making poor choices. But by then, we are reacting, not shaping. The time to start is not when they’re in trouble, but when they are still learning to speak and observe.

2. The Atmosphere at Home Speaks Louder than Rules

Children can sense pretence. If we pray in church but fight at home, if we speak about love and grace but live with bitterness and complaints, they notice. Home must be a safe space where grace is practiced, truth is taught, and love is consistent. Not perfect parenting—but honest, humble, and consistent.

Let’s not confuse rigid rule-keeping with righteousness. Children thrive not in controlling environments but in homes that model Christ.

3. Modeling, Not Just Teaching

Paul boldly said, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

That’s a strong claim—and a needed one today. Parents don’t need to be perfect, but they do need to be intentional. Children model what they see: how you pray, how you treat your spouse, how you spend money, how you respond to failure. Everything preaches. 

 4. Spending Time Individually with Children

Each child is unique, and parents must take time to connect with them personally. From an early age, explaining matters and truths individually—whether during a walk, a routine task, or shared activities—helps build trust and openness. Encouragement is best given in public, while correction is most effective in private, especially in matters of personal growth or sensitive advice. Parents should agree on this and decide who addresses which matters. Such intentional one-on-one moments shape both confidence and character.

5. Guarding What Shapes Them

In today’s hyper-connected world, children are shaped not just by what happens at home, but by what they consume online, what they hear from peers, and the subtle ideologies pushed through media. Parents must help their children develop discernment, not just discipline. That includes talking about values, warning about deception, and helping them think biblically.

We must be present—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Presence builds trust. And trust creates the bridge over which truth can be shared.

6. Faith Is Caught Before It Is Taught

Let’s remember: faith is not downloaded through lectures. It’s absorbed through life—through conversations at the dinner table, through bedtime prayers, through how we treat the poor, speak to elders, and respond when things go wrong.

It’s not about doing more programs. It’s about being more present.

A Closing Thought

We began by asking: whom do we blame when children walk away—the church or parents? The truth is, blame never builds faith. What is needed is ownership. Church and home must partner, but the first classroom of faith is always the home.

A crisis can take many forms. It may begin as a spark, come knocking, or linger at the door. The hardest is when it enters the home—when children slip away unnoticed or storm out in anger, slamming the door behind them.
That is why parents cannot afford to wait for such moments. Faith formation cannot be outsourced to Sunday Schools, youth camps, or occasional trainings. These may support, but parents must lead—shaping character and guiding children early toward wise, Christ-centered decisions.
So let us not wait for sparks to flare, knocks to sound, doors to slam, or children to slip away. In a world of shifting values and consumer-style relationships, our children need what is real. They need to see lives lived with authenticity, a daily walk with Christ, and a readiness to listen together for His voice. What must be passed on is not rituals or memory verses, but the joy of knowing a living Savior at the center of every decision.

Previous Post # 1 https://pvarticles.blogspot.com/2025/01/who-fails-parents-or-children.html 

Previous Post #2 https://pvarticles.blogspot.com/2025/08/missing-from-pew.html 

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See the New Release, Trekking the Tribal Trail Click Here 

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Living Between the Testaments

The Patchwork Gospel 

Half in Moses, Half in Christ

Philipose Vaidyar

Have you noticed how many denominational churches operate like shuttle buses—running back and forth between the Old and New Testaments, stopping only at the verses that suit them?
They talk, teach, and impose faith or practices not necessarily to equip believers, but often to sustain their own power, leadership, or identity.

Depending on their orientation, they choose what seems right in their eyes. In the same book—whether Old or New Testament—they bypass some regulations and hold on to others that serve their convenience.

Old Cloth, New Patch – Old Wine, New Wineskins

Jesus clearly said He fulfilled the Old Covenant and called us into His New Covenant (Matthew 5:17; Luke 22:20). He even warned us not to stitch old cloth with the new or pour old wine into new wineskins (Mark 2:21-22). Yet many still try to mix them.

• Sacrificial laws? Completely ignored—because Christ Himself became the perfect sacrifice (Hebrews 10:12).
• Tithing? That one is highlighted, preached, and demanded. But the release of debts, which was part of the same Mosaic law (Deuteronomy 15:1–2), is conveniently forgotten.
• Baptism? Preached strongly on believers’ baptism. But believers’ responsibility to love their neighbors and care for the poor (James 1:27) is rarely emphasized.
• Harvest festival? Celebrated. Other Old Testament festivals? Forgotten.

Water baptism is upheld as the greatest command for new believers from nominal Christian backgrounds. But what did Jesus say was truly the greatest command? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind… and love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). Those commandments are often painted on church walls but rarely preached or explained from the pulpit—perhaps because they are too simple, without any mystery to exploit!

Tithing from the Old Testament is imposed on poor believers, but to whom does the pastor tithe? Forgiving debtors and releasing financial burdens (Deuteronomy 15:1–2) is never spoken about. What a convenient, selective theology!

Some pastors insist on giving one-tenth. Some priests even demand at least half of one-tenth. But here’s the biblical contrast: the New Testament never commands tithing. Instead, the apostles encouraged giving according to one’s decision, not as a fixed percentage. “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7). Paul also instructed, “On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with your income” (1 Corinthians 16:2). Giving in the New Testament was voluntary, Spirit-led, and cheerful—not a tax.

Meanwhile, Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount—His radical commandments about love, mercy, holiness, and forgiveness (Matthew 5–7)—rarely make it into weekly sermons. Jesus never organized fundraisers, nor did He teach extensively on giving money. He simply commended the widow’s offering (Mark 12:41–44) but never demanded money from His followers. So why do wealth-oriented pastors run to Malachi 3:10 to justify endless teaching on tithing?

Pick-and-Choose Theology

One popular theme is preached again and again: “We are justified by faith alone. Just believe, and heaven is yours.”
But another verse—“Without holiness no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14)—is skipped over.

Acts 2 is quoted often, but the following chapters are conveniently ignored.

Justification is only the beginning of the believer’s journey—sins forgiven through Christ. But what about the spiritual walk that follows? What about maturity, fruit-bearing, and Christlikeness (Galatians 5:22-23)? How many pastors preach righteousness, sanctification, and glorification—not just the historical moment of repentance?

Consider Simon the sorcerer in Acts 8:9-24. He believed, was baptized, and enjoyed fellowship with the apostles. Yet later, Peter rebuked him sharply because his heart was not right before God. How often do churches address such realities?

Which pastor truly wants to live like Jesus lived—in humility, sacrifice, and holiness?

The Tongues Debate

Acts 2 describes the day of Pentecost:

• People spoke.
• People of many nations heard them in their own languages.

Tongues meant “languages,” not a private performance of sounds or the play of words. Yet in many Pentecostal circles, speaking in tongues has been made the ultimate sign of the Holy Spirit. This has led to confusion and even counterfeit displays in the name of “spirits.”

Here’s the paradox: they emphasize tongues but ignore the sharing of possessions, which is in the same chapter.

• “All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need” (Acts 2:44-45).
• “No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything… they brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need” (Acts 4:32-35).

Today’s churches dismiss this as “impractical.” But tongues? That’s still heavily promoted.

The early church endured hardship, persecution, and suffering (Acts 5:41; 2 Timothy 3:12). But self-appointed pastors today rarely talk about suffering. Instead, they preach financial gain, better jobs, prosperity, and wealth. According to them, God wants you to drive not just a car, but the best car! God wants to take you to the wealthiest countries. Villages in India? Never part of the “promised land.”

They twist Old Testament covenant promises to preach a prosperity gospel. If someone succeeds in migrating abroad, the pastor takes credit as if his prayers caused it. If you prosper, your blessing is his marketing.

Some even prophesy about witchcraft in your house, chicken heads buried in your compound, or other sensational claims—so they can claim authority to “break your curse.” All this is a wrong gospel of fear and money.

The Luxury Gap

Why avoid common sharing? Because if they practiced it, pastors could no longer buy luxury cars or build mansions. They would have to live like the other members, receiving only what they need.

Imagine this:

• A church of 100 families. Average income: ₹30,000 per family. Total: ₹30 lakhs.

If members tithe, the pastor could easily collect ₹3,00,000 every month. Members survive on ₹27,000, while the pastor enjoys ₹3,00,000—ten times more—driving a better car, living in a bigger house, and traveling to places in comfort. This is not rare. It has become the norm. Independent pastors who crown themselves “apostles” take it even further.

The Real Paradox

So here we are—

• Tongues? Yes.
• Sharing everything in common? No.
• Tithes? Yes.
• Freewill, Spirit-led giving? Rare.
• Faith? Yes.
• Holiness? Silence.
• Great Commission? Yes.
• Deeds of righteousness? Rarely.

How many pastors truly teach their members how to read, meditate on, and study the Word of God? Instead, many carry the attitude: “God speaks to me, and I will explain His Word and will to you.” Members are made dependent on their pastor’s supposed revelations rather than being equipped to listen to God themselves.

So we have prophets who talk about hidden “mysteries” (marmmam), as if God’s will is a secret only they can reveal. But the true mystery hidden for ages was Christ Himself—now revealed to all (Colossians 1:26-27). Yet such pastors flourish, and their gatherings grow.

Conclusion

The early church lived out radical faith: sharing, serving, suffering, and sacrificing. Today, many churches live out selective faith: picking, choosing, and bypassing.

The paradox is clear: the verses that cost us nothing are preached loudly, but the ones that demand humility, sacrifice, or accountability are quietly left out.

The real question we must ask: Are we living in the New Covenant Jesus gave us—or just between the testaments, patching old and new together for our own comfort?

To Be Continued… 

These confusions are not ends in themselves; they are meant to stir reflection and move us toward action. This is not the conclusion, only a pause. In the next post, I hope to pick up from here and explore possible steps we can take—personally and together—to live more faithfully in the light of the New Covenant.

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A Self Test

 

Why should we Test Ourselves? 

 

Self-test kits are available for many things. If you do electrical repairs at home, you would keep an electric supply tester. We can have an oximeter, glucose meter, and several other devices to check our health parameters even at home. I had been using a digital BP apparatus for several years and to replace it I ordered an analog meter and have been waiting for it to arrive. We do not want to take chances with our life. This should be true in our spiritual life too. We often get short-sighted and forget about the long term. We strive to succeed on temporary matters and more often ignore the eternal. We tend to walk by sight than in faith. We believe a lot of things, but what is our faith? 

 

Apostle Paul encourages us to test our faith. There is a final test but we do not need to wait until then to get surprised. We can test our faith ourselves with the tool of the Word of God. 

 

^“Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test. Now we pray to God that you will not do anything wrong—not so that people will see that we have stood the test but so that you will do what is right…” (2 Corinthians 13:5-7)

We need to have a Beginning and Continue with the End in Mind

We should not make assumptions about our faith and spiritual destiny. We may be sincerely or even blindly wrong if we fail to test it in the light of the Word of God. Many people assume, they are believers in God and they want to be God-fearing. Most people are god fearers. Some people are illiterate while most are educated. Education is not being able to read and write in a language. We do not stop with UKG but keep studying to complete our education in the best way possible. Then we go on into more professional training to be competent in our field of profession. Going to a university daily does not make you a student; many come there for various purposes. To be a student of that university you need to be enrolled. You need to be an active student, doing all the assignments and course requirements and preparing yourself for the tests and final tests until you are graduated. You continue your higher studies and training the same way. 

 

If so why should we compromise ourselves to a cheap religious life, thinking we are spiritual believers? We need to have a spiritual birth for spiritual life. That is becoming a child of God to be in God’s spiritual family. We need to feed on the Word of God through daily meditation and study of the Word of God, listen to His voice, and walk with Him. We need to have spiritual milk and then solid food to grow. We need to be practicing Christian.  

 

A mere belief will not make us a Child of God and a disciple of Christ

^“Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, many people saw the signs he was performing and believed in his name.  But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person” (John 2:23-25)

Some people always pray for miracles. They are driven by signs and wonders. Many who believe in God by miracles may have a good beginning but often do not last like the seed fell on the rocky soil. The words we use in our communications reveal our knowledge, understanding, and worldview; so also our prayers.  We should pray for our needs and can pray for our wants as well but why should we demand God to do miracles in our lives always? 

The crowd may ask a magician for miracles, but the Children of God ask their Father for their needs, whatever their needs are as they are in His family and would want to intimately communicate with Him. 

If God is our master and we are His servants, we should go to Him always in prayer and supplication, without ceasing and consistently. God does miracles and His purpose is not to perform miracles.  Demanding a miracle is often to test or believe, and that belief does not necessarily turn to be faith in God. 

Many people believed in Jesus seeing the miracles but not many had faith in him. 

“After these things, Jesus went over the sea of Galilee, which is the sea of Tiberias. And a great multitude followed him because they saw his miracles which he did on them that were diseased. (John 6:1-2).

As they continued to stay around and Jesus continued to share about himself and teach about eternal things and entering into heaven, through fellowshipping with him, they could not continue to follow in him.

^“When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” ….. Then what if you saw the Son of Man ascending to where he was before?  It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life…. , “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.”…After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. (John 6:60-66).   (To know what he taught, please read the full chapter).

Know what we Believe and See if we have the Right Faith

If we assume that everyone who believes Jesus is the son of God, savior of the world, and died for the sins of the world; enters the Kingdom of God irrespective of what they do that is not the right gospel that Jesus or the Apostles taught. 

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me you workers of lawlessness.’ (Matthew 7:21-23).

How can we do the will of the Father in heaven, unless we study the Word of God, meditate on it daily and walk with Jesus to be like him?! Without a mutual relationship with Jesus Christ, and abiding together with him, how can we walk with God? Without God in us, how can we know His perfect will?! God does not live in temples built by human hands; we do not go to a temple to communicate with God or call on Him. We are called to be the Temple of God where the Spirit of God can live. (Read more from Acts 7:48, 1 Corinthians 3:16-17; 2 Corinthians 6:16)  

“Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you”.  (2 Corinthians 13:11)

Learning To Ride and Maintain Your Life's Cycle

Fifty years ago, bicycles were luxury vehicles at least for some homes. I learned to ride a bicycle myself before I was 10 though I was too young and short to sit on the seat. A cousin of mine who came home once showed me how to learn. The front courtyard was my learning ground. There was none to help so you push and learn to balance on a single pedal. It will take days and weeks of practice before you can put your leg below and across the crossbar, reach the other pedal and manage to pedal little by little, and master to do a quarter, half, and the full round of cycling. All this is done by going round and round in the same courtyard and at times. Like today, not many think about getting a half cycle or a quarter size cycle. Many boys of my age were not privileged to have a bicycle at home and some of them manage to go to a hiring shop that has bicycles for the same purpose. It will mostly have full-sized cycles and maybe one or two 3/4th sized and some even half-sized bicycles. Those were the driving schools in our neighborhoods and towns. 

 

Falling off the bicycle and getting scratches, wound, and gaining scars that last lifelong is common. When you learn yourself you learn to fix certain things yourself. If the crank chain is slightly loose, it tent to slip off at times and you soon will learn how to put it back on those crank wheels. 

My father had all the basic tools at home and he used to fix punctures himself, repair, and replace anything, hardly going to a repair shop. Even if you wanted to, you have to push the cycle a kilometer to the 'driving school' I mentioned and get it fixed. But for want of fixing a puncture, you will possibly spoil a tyre. However, I did not try to fix punctures as I tend to damage the brim of the tyre. But I have ventured myself dismantling a bicycle fully, part by part to repaint it and fix it back. Repainting your bicycle perfectly is not an easy job, you need to have much interest, patience, and commitment out of necessity or because of your situation. 

If you want to maintain your bicycle, you also need to have certain tools at home. A medium screwdriver will do for most of the screws, but you cannot manage everything with a monkey spanner. You need several spanners and in certain places, only a thin net spanner can do the work. So you start with basic tools and go on adding more specific ones.

When we manage our homes, we would require more tools. We never needed a star-edged screwdriver at home those days, but you need more than one such one nowadays. So you add on new tools or replace one with another as we continue to maintain our life. 

For certain things, the user's manual will help you while for others you take to a qualified professional who can alone fix it. The Lord who created us fearfully and wonderfully has given us the user’s manual. To take care of our lives, to manage and sustain ourselves, and for a growing performance the master desires, we need to learn to use the manual the Word of God. 

If we don’t learn to meditate on the Word of God ourselves and apply it, don’t expect our children to do so. Children begin to learn better at home. They watch what we do and learn to follow us. They will learn to do even better. If we learn to manage ourselves we may not have to end up with professionals who can only attempt to fix our problems. For want of a shoe, a whole battle can be lost. 

 

Blessed is the one who meditates the word of God…. 

… but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 

That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever they do prospers. The Lord watches over them, their way, and guides them. (Psalm 1)

 

I have learned to meditate and study the Word of God and make it a practice. I continue to learn to walk in faith and grow in my relationship with God. If you don’t do it yourself, I encourage you to start today. If you do not know your creator personally, you should seek Him. If you are born again, you need to grow every way and every day. When you are a child of God, you need to grow in your knowledge and your relationship with your heavenly Father.  Unfortunately many do not know how to do it or do not enjoy doing it. The Word of God is the food and drink for your spiritual life without which you can never grow. Would it be fine if someone gives you a plate of food weekly once, or even daily morning, mixed and chewed, just to sit and sallow? 

If you have the habit of reading somebody’s devotional thoughts day after day, It is just better than dying of starvation. But I encourage you to study and meditate on the Word yourself. It will be rewarding, enriching, and joyful; and you will never regret learning that habit. You certainly need a mentor or a coach if you have not used to it so far. 

 

How can you start? If you do not know how to meditate and study the Word of God yourself, ask someone nearby whom you are sure, can help you. 

And the tools you need?

A personal Bible in your language,

A notebook, a pen, a willing heart, and some time to spare

 

In case you still need help, I am available to help you by sitting with you physically or virtually and it is free.  Please feel free to Contact me at  createtools(at)gmail(dot) com 

or call me on # 8-zero-5-six-2-nine-0-one-4-zero