Same Letters, Different Lives: Leader or Dealer?

The Choice Is in Your Priorities

Philipose Vaidyar

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In the mid 1980s, when I was still trying to discern the direction of my life, I had a series of encounters that quietly but deeply shaped the way I understand people, ministry, and leadership.

It began in 1985, when I visited an American missionary named Esther Mary Otten in a neighboring town. Our meetings were not long or elaborate, but there was something about the way she engaged that stayed with me. I did not realize it then, but that simple visit was the beginning of a formative journey.

A year later, 1986 to 1987 was a season I set apart to pray, to experience ministry firsthand, and to discern a future calling. During that academic year, I attended a one and a half month study program in Highfield (UESI), Kotagiri. But what left the deepest impression on me was not the structure of the program. It was the people.

There was Ms. Shirley Christopher from Mysore on the national staff. Then Ms. Jean Palmquist, an American, and Ms.Ada Lum, a Chinese from Honolulu, along with Jane and John Martin, an old couple from All Nations College, Britain. Different cultures and different personalities, but they shared something that set them apart. 

They noticed you.

They knew your name. They spoke with you in a way that felt personal, unhurried, and genuine. Their conversations did not impress; they lifted. You walked away, not flattered, but encouraged. Not managed, but valued.

That raises an important question: what made them different?

It was not that they agreed with everything or endorsed every plan. It was not about personality or background. The difference, I came to understand, was in their inner arrangement, the priorities of their hearts.

LEADER and DEALER are made of the same letters. The same potential. The same raw material. But it is the arrangement that makes all the difference.

A dealer arranges life around self, what can be gained, controlled, or measured.
A leader, on the other hand, arranges life around others, how they can be seen, strengthened, and served.

These individuals were leaders not because of position, but because of posture. They carried a quiet, Christ-like attentiveness that made others feel significant. Looking back, I can say with conviction that they were, in their own simple way, extensions of the love of God.

Over the years, I have met many more like them.

I have also met the opposite, those who remain unmoved by your efforts or achievements, yet are quick to point out your shortcomings. Those who measure, label, and sometimes diminish. The contrast is unmistakable.

But the greater lesson has been this: what we receive, we are responsible to pass on.

What these people meant to me, and what I have learned from the Word of God, has profoundly shaped my Christian ministry, my relationships, and my way of life. It has helped me form a simple but demanding principle:

What you learn, share. What you earn, be willing to share.

Paul the Apostle writes in the Epistle to the Romans 12:9 and following: let your love be sincere, be devoted to one another, be willing to associate with people of low position.

That is not just theology. That is practice. That is leadership.

So the question is not whether we have the capacity. We all do. The letters are the same.

The real question is:

How are you arranging them?

 _______

Note:

*Romans 12:9 -16

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

മലയാളത്തിൽ വായിക്കാൻ

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